Wednesday (Mercredi) March 30, 2016

Wednesday (Mercredi) March 30, 2016

(Note Mercredi is French for Wednesday)

Good Morning All. Yesterday I was searching for apartments. It is frustrating, depressing, difficult and upsetting at times. It makes me stressed out. I only have literally one month left to find a new place. Been writing some poems because of my frustrations. Will blog more later.

Okay I just have to get some feelings out in the open. Whenever I talk to my parents these days especially to my mom I get frustrated and angry with her. I get to the point where I don't want to talk to her for weeks at a time and just want to break off contact entirely with her. I find her to be too critical. I just seriously don't want her to be in my life anymore.

       

Poem 1: No Title

(Note – I am thinking of calling this poem 4 In The Morning)

Its four in the morning

It’s dark outside

And I am rising early

Before everyone else

Ready to push myself

And go running

While delivering papers.

 

a girls gotta do

what a girls gotta do

to become a champion

 

dressed in a rain jacket and rain pants

feet flying along the pavement

music blaring from my cellphone

papers flung onto lawns

deer being startled

rabbits quick as can be hopping across lawns.

 

A girls gotta do

what a girls gotta do

to become a champion

 

Its four in the morning

It’s dark outside

And I am rising early

Before everyone else

Ready to push myself

And become a champion

 

A girls gotta do

what a girls gotta do

to become a champion

 

Poem 2: Tears

 

Can’t stop the tears

From falling down my face

 

Feeling stressed out

Feeling depressed

Feeling all alone

Feeling like the worlds against me

 

Can’t stop the tears

From falling down my face

 

All I want to do

Is crawl under blankets and hide

Wanting to disappear

And vanish into thin air

 

Can’t stop the tears

From falling down my face

 

My spirits are low

It’s hard to stay positive

It’s hard to put on a brave outlook

It’s hard to be optimistic and smile

And pretend that everything is okay

 

Can’t stop the tears

From falling down my face

 

I am told to have faith and hope

But I ain’t got no faith and hope

I am told to pray to God by Mormons,

who think they have all the answers

But I ain’t got no time to pray to God

Or listen to Mormons talk about rubbish

 

Can’t stop the tears

From falling down my face

Crazy Pen Drawings Monday March 28, 2016

Sunday March 27, 2016: Easter Sunday

Sunday March 27, 2016: Easter Sunday

 

Good Afternoon All. First of all I want to say Happy Easter. I hope you are all well and enjoying your Easter Sunday. This morning I delivered newspapers. I drank a cup of coffee and had a cup of Earl Grey Tea. One thing I am considering doing is not drinking coffee and tea for a year to see how I feel. Maybe my body will feel better. I want to get back into drinking juice. I believe I started drinking coffee and tea in either 2008 or maybe 2010. The thing is I don’t want to be addicted to caffeine. I am noticing that I am not enjoying Earl Grey Tea and Indian Chai Tea as much as I used to. I want to be able to enjoy Earl Grey Tea and Indian Chai Tea and only have the tea once in a while now as a treat. I also want to enjoy coffee as a treat once in a blue moon. One thing I dislike about coffee and tea is that it makes you want to use the bathroom too much. Another thing I dislike about tea is that the packaging is not environmentally friendly. Every tea bag comes wrapped up in paper. And in each box of tea you only get like 20 tea bags. Okay enough about coffee and tea. I also watched some motivational videos today and listened to some music. I also created some pen drawings to mail to my great aunt and I wrote down song lyric ideas. I am heading out later on today just to enjoy the outdoors. I am also apartment hunting and job hunting. Yesterday I was talking to one of my Boxing teammates and he doesn’t think I am ready to be in a Boxing Fight. I agree with him that I am not ready to be in a Boxing Fight but I hope one day in the near future I will be ready. I have a longing to fight in the ring. I was asking him what I could do to improve and he told me to go for runs every day so I will start running daily. All right that is all I have to say for now.

Sunday March 27, 2016 - Crazy Art Work

 

 

Saturday March 26, 2016

Good Morning All. I hope you are all having a great morning and have plans for the day. Today I am applying for jobs, searching for apartments and going to the gym. But my first goal to accomplish is having a shower because I need to wash my hair. My next goal to accomplish is eating oatmeal and drinking hot chocolate as well as using a heating pad on my left knee which is killing me. Okay that is all for now.

Friday March 25, 2016

Friday March 25, 2016

Good Morning All. First Of All I Want To Wish You All A Happy Good Friday.

 

 

 

Yesterday I went to the gym and took part in Boxing and Kickboxing Classes. My Boxing and Kickboxing Coach is still always on my case about "Moving My Feet". I sometimes just forget but for the most part I am trying to move my feet more in Boxing and Kickboxing. I also watched Systema Yesterday, applied to two support worker jobs and contacted some potential housing places. I think I have also found someone who can teach me some guitar notes. Today I am meeting a friend. I will write more later. Okay so here is an update. I have been busy sending out job applications. I sent out three job applications to home care companies. I am also at Starbucks drinking coffee so that I can stay motivated.

 

Goals

 

Goals I Have For Myself

 

1. Watch Motivational Videos Every Morning

2. Watch Sports Documentaries on Athletes Every Day

Thursday March 24, 2016

Yesterday evening I took part in Boxing class. I felt that I did a lot better in Boxing class on Wednesday then on Tuesday. I felt more focused and not unfocused like Tuesday. At the moment I am watching a documentary about Eckhart Tolle. Eckhart Tolle says that it is possible to live free of suffering and I would love to live free of suffering. I am tired of suffering from cyber bullying. I am tired of suffering from abuse. I am tired of being a victim.

Peace

Where I Get Peace From?

 

·        I Get Peace From Hearing Birds Chirping

·        I Get Peace From Seeing Deer

·        I Get Peace From Seeing Owls

·        I Get Peace From Seeing Rabbits

·        I Get Peace From The Mountains

·        I Get Peace From The Water